When Picking a World Cup Winner in 2014 Go With the Hair
Soccer is the world's most popular game. The World Cup is the world's biggest tournament. And yet the majority of Americans will be more preoccupied with what Miley Cyrus is wearing than who walks away with... whatever that trophy is they're fighting to win.
I hate to go all "girly" here and pick a team based on their uniforms, but since soccer is a sport I know very little about I'm going to go off the grid here in picking my winners for the World Cup. I'm picking based on something I have very little of myself... No, not athleticism... Hair.
Here are my top haircuts of the 2014 World Cup.
Belgium is considered by many to be one of the teams to beat at the 2014 World Cup, and if Marouane Fellaini's hair has anything to say about it, the young Belgian squad has a real shot. Marouane only checks in at #5 on my list because I'm afraid the look isn't intentional. Europeans have a very different sense of style, and the unibrow combined with that hair makes me think the joke's on us. The look just screams "Sleezy Euro-Dude", and I can't throw my full support behind the "Horseshack" look.
Ghana's pride and joy sends me on a bit of a flashback to Kid 'n Play in the early 90s. Not Kid, but he's definitely got the Play look down. The hair coloring adds a little something to the look, and it certainly makes him easy to spot on the pitch. Still, Vorsah only makes it in at #4 on my list because Ghana won't be around long enough in the World Cup to let his hair do his magic.
David Luiz of Brazil will be playing in front of his home country at the 2014 World Cup, and that ramps up the pressure to perform tremendously. Brazil is a perennial favorite heading into each World Cup, and playing at home will certainly help their chances. Also helping their chances? David's hair. Just like the Biblical story of Samson, the power of Luiz runs through his locks. Points are deducted because most of the time the hair has a jheri curl look, which was only acceptable in Eddie Murphy movies in the 80s.
Super Mario seems to come out with a slight variation in his mohawk styling every time a new match rolls around. He's gone with the short mohawk, the large mohawk and the "juuuuuust right" mohawk. It's a popular look (as you'll soon see), but his hair with Italy's prowess on the pitch means there's a chance Jersey Shore could be celebrating big time this summer.
While the mohawk look may be a bit played by now, El Shaaraway's mohawk is the king of all-things-mohawk. The sheer defying of gravity is phenomenal and must take more product than an entire 80s glam band. As a bonus, he could always use that prickly thing as a weapon. It's that battle advantage that earns Stephen El Shaaraway the #1 spot on my list of World Cup hair.