Man Cries After Finding Out Wife Is Pregnant With Son, Is ‘Scared’ to Turn Out Like His Dad
A man on Reddit admits he broke down in tears after finding out his wife is pregnant with a little boy, all because the man is terrified he'll turn out like his own dad.
"My wife and I were having a gender reveal for our first child. My wife doesn't mind what gender the baby is, she just wanted to get a few friends and family together for a small party and she was under the impression that I thought that too. Neither of us were interested in doing anything big, we just had a friend to read out the letter and reveal the gender," he shared on the forum.
He never told his wife he was "really hoping for a daughter," and he became "really upset" when it was revealed at the party that they are having a son instead.
"I didn't want to ruin the day though so I just tried to act normal and celebrate with my wife and the family. Later on after everyone had left, I was alone in our room while my wife was downstairs. I was sitting on the bed and just started crying. I don't often cry ... but I was just really panicking," he shared.
The man noted he was hoping for a daughter because his dad was "really sh---y" to him, which negatively affected his life. "I'm scared that I will be the same to my son. I don't want to f--k my son up like my dad did to me. I've been scared about turning into my dad since before I met my wife, the big reason I didn't want kids originally was in case I treated them like my dad treated me," he explained.
"My wife walked in on me crying and I tried to explain why without talking about my dad much (she doesn't know anything about what my dad was like). She told me that I was selfish and called me a few other things," the man concluded.
Users in the comments section tried to comfort the man and encouraged him to tell his wife about his history with his father.
"Overcoming childhood trauma is HARD. It takes work. But you need to do the work, and here you are studiously avoiding doing the work. You're walking around with trauma that your wife knows nothing about because you're burying it. You're having a child with someone who doesn't know all the fears you have about having a child because you haven't told her any of them. You can't get over trauma without facing it. And becoming a father is a good kick in the butt to start processing your trauma BECAUSE you want to break the cycle of abuse here," one person wrote.
"I think the fact that you clearly care so much about doing better than your father already puts you in an excellent position to do exactly that," another chimed in.
"It’s never easy to open up like that, but I am truly rooting for you. To be willing to speak to her shows that you care. This is the way. Best of luck," someone else commented.
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