The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
Looking For a New Massage Alternative? How About a Rub Down From 48NN Breasts?
Kristy Love spent a year learning to be a masseuse. She was unable to secure a gig, not because she wasn't good at her job, but because of her massive 48NN chest.
19 Atrocious Photos That Prove Engagement Pics Are Always a Bad Idea
Our philosophy with wedding planning is simple -- just let the woman have what she wants as long as it doesn't involve future shame. Engagement photos are future shame.
Students Find World War II Hiding Spot in Their Attic
It's every child's dream to stumble upon a hidden treasure in their very own home. Think how many hours of youth are spent knocking on hollow walls, digging in the backyard and exploring crawl spaces in the hopes of finding something, anything, of value.
Kevin Nealon is Whelmed, But Not Overly, to Talk SNL and Political Potheads [INTERVIEW]
Kevin Nealon just seem like a nice guy. I based this assumption on his numerous TV appearances, stint on SNL, random tweets about my home state and everything else I'd read or heard about him over the years.
"Oh, you're interviewing Kevin Nealon...
It’s Hard to Write a ‘Dear Jane’ Letter When Your Hand is Shaking in Fear [Half a Man]
Polly was crazy. I wasn’t positive of this until my father, never one to mince words or use words to speak unkindly about another person, called to say, “Son, I think Polly is crazy.”
Calvin Johnson Broke Receiving Record With Multiple Broken Fingers
Calvin Johnson had a monster season for the Detroit Lions. Forget monster, it was a record-breaking display. Johnson broke something else this season, besides the NFL receiving record -- he broke multiple fingers and still played.
Oscar Pistorius Breaks Down In Court — Officially Charged with Murder of Reeva Steenkamp
Olympic star Oscar Pistorius broke down in tears as he stood before magistrate Desmond Nair. Pistorius is being charged with murder in the shooting death of his girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp.
Baltimore Ravens are Super Bowl XLVII Champions
The Baltimore Ravens survived a late 49ers surge, a controversial non-call in the endzone and a 34-minute power outage to win Super Bowl XLVII by a score of 34-31.
I’ve Discovered An Excuse to Get Men Out of Any Situation [Half a Man]
A recent piece of satire on one of my favorite sports websites prompted some research on another current favorite of mine – Lena Dunham. I realize that’s a substantial amount of a** kissing in one opening sentence but it’s true. Dunham is funny, unafraid to take risks and like her or not -- and plenty of people fall in the “or not” category -- she’s going to be around for a long time.