The Relationship Milestone That’s OK to Skip
Contrary to popular belief, each couple has their own path.
Being in a relationship with someone you love is something that most people search for in their lifetimes. Sometimes society can place unrealistic expectations on couples, but that doesn't mean you have to adhere to them.
After a tumultuous 7 year relationship, I've started a new relationship with a person that is honestly better than I could've ever dreamed. Extremely mushy, I know, but it's the truth. There's just one thing that has my friends and family scratching their heads: My boyfriend and I have yet to fight.
Apparently to have a "real" relationship you absolutely have to fight, or at least that's what I'm told.
The thing is though, I don't think fighting is exactly necessary. The best part? My boyfriend doesn't either.
Now for the common questions and misconceptions:
- "Is there any passion in the relationship if you don't fight?"
- "Doesn't it get boring?"
- "You two must not truly care about one another."
- "It's because you don't live together."
- "Someone isn't being heard, and is just being submissive."
Fortunately for us, none of these things are true.
An important note, before I go any further.
- I do not think my relationship is "perfect."
- I'm not saying that I will never fight with my significant other.
- I am not putting down other couples that do fight.
Okay, now that we have that out of the way, let's continue.
It's not that there aren't things for us to argue about. Rather, it's the way we choose to approach difficulties. We have both been in unhealthy relationships, and have chosen not to repeat unhealthy habits that have hurt us in the past.
I definitely get into arguments with other people, and so does my boyfriend. With each other its different, because we have a deeper understanding of one another. We keep an open mind to what the other expresses, and choose not to let trivial matters come between the mutual respect we have for one another.
More importantly, we didn't "train" the other. We both truly learned from other experiences what we need and what we don't. The saying about "loving yourself before you love someone else" is remarkably true.
So maybe we're not what society deems as normal, but that's perfectly okay with me.
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