Weekend at the Movies – The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can. But look out, ‘cause here comes the second installment of the Sony Pictures Amazing Spider-Man franchise.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 picks up a few months after the stunning finale of The Amazing Spider-Man (“[Promises you can’t keep] are the best kind,” said Peter Parker, in no universe ever but this one.) Peter (Andrew Garfield) is still web-slinging, cleaning up the New York streets one comic book crook at a time, and he’s also graduating from high school, alongside ill-fated sweetheart Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone). Luckily, Peter doesn’t seem to have any worries about finding a job, enrolling in college, or any of the typical summer concerns of an 18-year-old. Must be nice. Unluckily, he’s still Spider-Man, and that means there’s at least one (spoiler: it’s more than one) super-powered slimeball who wants to squish him. O, whatever will he do?

The Courteous Take

Let’s get the good parts out of the way. Visually, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is pretty wonderful. Colors are vibrant, vistas are sweeping, and both Spider-Man and New York look about as good as they ever have on film. This take on Electro (Jamie Foxx) might bother traditionalists, but no one can argue that the plasma beneath his skin isn’t a super cool effect, and when he and Spidey go web-to-bolt, the results are awesome.

That’s where the good parts end. What remains is vapid, bloated, force-fed, downright terrible cinema. Really, that should be enough to say, shouldn’t it? But I’m a critic, so I guess it’s time to wade right in.

Whine.

Nothing in this movie happens for any reason other than that someone writing the film thought it ought to. The film has no theme, no dramatic through-line, no driving emotional core, no essential conceit. Peter Parker does not learn, or grow, at any point in the film. In fact, the only thing in the world giving him (false) pause is neatly removed from his concern, so he’s back to a happy world without consequence or responsibility before the credits roll.

Wait, that word sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Responsibility. Wasn’t there a phrase about responsibility that was inextricably linked with Spider-Man? Ah, well. Maybe it’ll come to me.

If there’s one thing that The Amazing Spider Man 2 does do, it’s reveal that its predecessor was an even worse film than we thought at the time, because no, it wasn’t just a weirdly morally bankrupt take on Spider-Man, it was a deliberately morally bankrupt take on Spider-Man, designed as the first part of a (still totally morally bankrupt, but I don’t think the writers know that) franchise-long arc for their hero. I use the phrase “hero” loosely. Also “arc.”

We have lost films in the name of franchises. Heck, even look at the movie’s tagline: “His greatest battle begins.” (Emphasis mine.) Okay, great, so it’s the sequel, and it’s still an origin story. Only it’s not even an origin story, it’s an origin origin. The Amazing Spider-Man was setting up for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 which is setting up for The Sinister Six which will set up for The Amazing Spider-Man 3 and the thing just goes on and on and we get a franchise… but we never get any films along the way.

Do you know why the Marvel Cinematic Universe is so damn good? It’s because every entry—even the worst of them—is a complete movie. They have beginnings and endings. Middles, even! They have characters who act and react to characters and events around them, characters whose actions and reactions are driven by personal motivations, motivations which grow and change as the characters grow and change in reaction characters and events around them.

It’s basic storytelling, people. It should be the gold standard, not the golden idol. I don’t know why these writers are so afraid to do their job. There’s no big rolling rock. There is no bottomless pit. No snakes. Just people, what they want, and what’s standing in their way. I know it’s not always easy, but it shouldn’t be this hard.

The Savage Rejoinder

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 could have been great if it had been leaner. There’s so much fat in need of trimming that I’m amazed so much stayed off the cutting room floor. The film runs long at 142 minutes, and it feels like an eternity.

That’s not to say the entire film is a snoozefest. It’s exhilarating when Spidey swings through the city and battles over-the-top foes. The fights are creative and fun, and are enhanced by Spider-Man’s trademark sarcasm.

However, when the spider-suit is in the hamper, the movie starts to feel like a bad teen drama. Peter and Gwen’s on-and-off again relationship is explored through a series of ridiculously awkward conversations that seem like something a 40-something wrote while trying desperately to channel the 14-year-old heart.

I couldn’t help but think of the forced love story between Anakin and Padme in the Star Wars prequels. Just like them, these two have no real chemistry, and seeing them on the screen together made me want to groan.

Peter’s relationship with Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan) is just as bad. These two, best friends in their youth, haven’t seen each other in eight years—which might as well be twenty in teenage years—but suddenly they’re best friends again because the plot requires it. Every time these characters interact outside of a battle, the movie comes to a screeching halt.

Maybe the only relationship in the movie that works is Peter’s relationship with his Aunt May (Sally Field). This May isn’t the perfect moral compass she was in Sam Raimi’s films; she’s a single mother recovering from the traumatic loss of her husband and struggling to support a boy she no longer understands. She and Peter argue and make up like a real family, and Field has a heartfelt chemistry with Garfield that he lacks everywhere else.

I get that the filmmakers wanted us to care about Peter and the people in his life. But we don’t get that here. What we get is drama for the sake of drama. I wasn’t a huge fan of Tobey Maguire’s Peter Parker, but at least his romance with Kirsten Dunst’s Mary Jane and his friendship-turned-enmity with James Franco’s Harry Osborn felt like the real deal.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 tried to balance blockbuster action with human drama and failed. It’s worth seeing for the great action, but be aware that you’ll have to sit through a lot of teen angst to get to it.

Where Do We Go From Here?

T: To see a better movie. Or, any movie. Just not this one.

S: I’m going to recommend revisiting Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2. It’s not perfect, but it’s by far the best Spider-Man film yet made due to its excellent blend of action and drama.