El Paso: Bologna Seizure Capitol of the World

The Border Patrol takes A LOT of bolognas away from people.

We all know this. I’ve already written about it in an article with all the crude, 8th-grade-level humor you’ve come to expect.  But, if the one official is to be believed, El Paso is kind of FAMOUS for its bologna-snatching ways.

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In a front-page story, the El Paso Times quotes the CBP Chief Agriculture Specialist Chad Gerber: “We’re kind of famous for bologna seizures…(its) one of our top-seizing items”.

In January, CBP officers caught a couple bringing in 55 pounds of undeclared Mexican bologna. Those suspects, from Albuquerque and Colorado, told the officers they can take the contraband bologna and sell it at a huge markup up north. That…must be some really delicious baloney, I guess.

Mr. Gerber says it’s such a big part of what they do that they just HAD to show President Joe Biden when he visited El Paso last month. The story in the Times details a demonstration for the president in which K-9 assets sniffed out the lunch meat.

Then (and I need to specify here that I’m not making ANY of this up) the human CPB officers “took a knee and presented a thick, red 6-pound roll of Mexican bologna” to the President of the United States of America.

A photo of this demonstration exists and I’m praying that we’re allowed to use that image here…

[WE COULD NOT...] - N.A.